What I Discovered About Fear of Failure and Self-Compassion By Giving a TEDx Talk

I speak in front of groups of people all the time. And yet, a week before I was scheduled to give a talk at TEDxPasadenaWomen, I had my phone in my hand ready to dial Read More

One Simple Practice for Cultivating Personal Power and Freedom Everyday









Ask yourself this: Am I doing what I am doing because it serves my most important goals, values, and relationships, or am I doing it as an alternative to being with discomfort?

Being with is the Read More

Do You Understand the Happiness/Comfort Trade-Off?

We all want to be happy and we all want to be comfortable. Wanting both of these is normal, but it is also fraught with challenge and pitfall. One of the most important and challenging Read More

A Simple Process to Keep Discomfort From Running Your Life

“Yeah, whatever dad.”

As a wellbeing coach, I teach people how to be more calm and balanced in life. And yet, when my teenage son is dismissive, I feel an uncomfortable sensation of anger in my Read More

Practicing a Life That Actually Works: Accepting That We Are Animals with Human Goals

I was talking to a young woman whose hobby is skydiving. She jumps out of airplanes. I asked her if she still feels fear before she jumps. “Of course,” she replied. The reason she was Read More

Working with Challenge or Change? Check Your Relationship to Discomfort.

This past week was challenging for me. I dropped my son off at college for his freshman year. The school is close enough that it is worth visiting for a weekend, but far enough away Read More

Looking for Balance and Freedom? Practice Being A Work in Progress

You are not done. Your brain is going to be shaping itself right up until the moment you die. Humans are biologically equipped to grow until death. The challenge is that we grow in the Read More

Wisdom in Life and Work: The Incredible Power of Being With

Each of us is bombarded with impulses – thoughts and sensations – from the conditioned brain. These impulses are the result of activity in networks among neurons. Many of these networks were formed when we Read More

Seeking Well-Being and Growth? Pay Attention to Stories and Strategies

The other day a lawyer told me that she is so used to looking for potential threats at work that she can only see what’s wrong at home. Her spouse is getting worn down by Read More

Cultivating Your Own Well-being Is An Act of Service

Cultivating your own well-being is an act of service. Taking a breath, bringing awareness to the present moment, and accessing positive internal resources allows you choose your next action from a connected and compassionate perspective. Read More

Practicing Awe is Good For You and For Your Relationships

Watching a sunset at the beach. Seeing an elite level athletic performance. Standing on a mountaintop. Listening to a world-class symphony. Seeing new life enter the world. These are likely to be awe-inspiring events. And Read More

Being Fully Human is Good for Business

Work is love made visible. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Recently I was working with a CEO who was constantly encouraging his employees to be “professional.” Many in his company bristled at the word because they saw it Read More

Awareness Is The First Step Toward Growth

When was the last time you thought about walking? You take thousands of steps each day and yet you give it little thought. This is because it is controlled by a function in the brain Read More

Being Present in Life and Work: You Do Not Need to Scratch Every Itch

You are sitting there and you notice an itch. Reflexively, you reach up and scratch it without giving it any thought. It all happens so quickly that it doesn’t really occur to you that you Read More

Feeling Stuck? Is it Circumstances or Conditioning?

Is there a conversation you have been meaning to have, but you put it off because you know the person will behave poorly?  Is there a career change you have been considering, but nothing happens Read More

The Practice of Choosing Wisely In the Presence of Feelings

I love sugar.

I don’t love conflict.

If I only made choices based on how I felt in any given moment I would eat a lot of donuts and avoid a lot of difficult conversations.

Thankfully, there’s an Read More

Why This is the Most Powerful Personal Technology

Recently I was talking to a client who has a four year old child. When I told him that my oldest son is headed off to college next fall, he asked me “knowing what you Read More

Working Well with Thoughts and Feelings: The Education We Never Received


“I don’t feel like it.” “I feel trapped.” “I’m just not up to it.” “I have no choice.” “It’s all too much for me.” “It’s too hard.” “I need to wait until the time is Read More

Five Principles for Practicing a Good Life

Several years ago, a friend of mine went on a famous pilgrimage in Spain – El Camino. Feeling lost in life, standing on a labyrinth at the beginning of his journey, he closed his eyes Read More

Busy is Not the Same as Productive


Busy is the new black. To be busy is to be important…or so the mythology goes. But, busy and productive are not the same thing. A busy life is not necessarily a meaningful life.In fact Read More

Why Donald Trump May Be My Greatest Teacher

When I read about how white supremacist groups are endorsing Donald Trump and how these groups are crediting him with the increase in traffic to their websites, I feel a huge lump in my throat. Read More

We Can Lighten Up and Be (more) Effective

Lightening up does not mean blowing off responsibility. And while taking responsibility for our lives may require effort, it does not require struggle.

Refocusing on what matters most and taking purposeful action does not require resistance Read More

Warning: Radical Practice of Savoring Life Has Many Side Effects

This moment has never existed before and will never exist again. We can take a breath, refocus, and savor the miracle of this moment with full awareness. More incredibly, we can do this even when Read More

You Are Free to Let Go of Struggle

If you are human, you will experience a full range of experience.

You do not have the option of living a life where sensations of upset never arise.

When sensations of upset show up, you are free Read More

Who Will I Be Today?

Practice Reminder:

“Who will I be today?” Lying in bed, sitting quietly, going for a walk, taking a shower — we can start the day by refocusing on what we will practice today. Asking “what Read More