The Discipline of Compassion

This photo was taken when my youngest son, Eli, was two years old. He is now 17 and 6′ 3″ tall. It is so easy to forget that we are all just children who have Read More

Cold and Beautiful: We Can Practice Living All of Life

The picture above is of fresh snow in the mountain town where I am working in Japan. It is cold and beautiful. Such a metaphor for how life feels sometimes.

Consider how extraordinary it is that Read More

What is Unconditional Wellbeing and Why Does it Matter?

Our health, happiness, and performance depend to some degree on our genetics and our environment. In other words, some things such as the weather, the markets, other people’s behavior, and even the feelings and thoughts Read More

A Wish for the New Year

Dear Friends,

Here is my wish for the New Year:

That we give ourselves permission to stop pretending that we are perfect and shiny all the time (or that we will be someday if we just try Read More

The Miracle of Daily Practice: Consciously Shaping Your Brain for Wellbeing

I used to feel so self-conscious about what others thought of me, that speaking in front of a large group was unthinkable.

I used to feel so insecure in social situations, that alcohol felt like the Read More

You Make A Difference. Not Making a Difference Isn’t an Option


It is impossible to live a separate life of no impact. We are connected in the most complex and tangible ways.

Consider a single carrot on your plate. How many people were involved in the entire Read More

Why it is Worth Practicing Awe Everyday

The photo above was taken at sunset from our backyard.

It is a great reminder that I don’t have the foggiest idea of how insanely fortunate I am to be alive.

It is so easy to get Read More

How Do We Find Freedom from Stress and Anxiety in a Demanding and Distracting World?

Constant access to phone, email, texts, tweets, and a 24 hour news cycle keep us connected and up to date. And…they keep our nervous systems vigilant. We are capable of putting ourselves on alert first Read More

What I Have Learned About the Value of a Good Ol’ Fashioned Breakdown

When I was twenty-seven years old, I hit a wall. Literally. I punched a wall. I woke up in the hospital with my hand in a cast and pins sticking out in several directions. I Read More

This Simple Idea Can Change Your Life.

Everything you do is practice.

It’s that simple.

When you argue, you get better at arguing. When you listen, you get better at listening. When you complain, you get better at complaining. When you are kind, Read More

Learn How to Love Your Anxiety (or at least keep it from running your life)

When I was in my twenties, anxiety had me running around frantically trying to get approval and prove that I was enough. Anxiety had me curled up in a ball on my living room carpet Read More

What I Discovered About Fear of Failure and Self-Compassion By Giving a TEDx Talk

I speak in front of groups of people all the time. And yet, a week before I was scheduled to give a talk at TEDxPasadenaWomen, I had my phone in my hand ready to dial Read More

One Simple Practice for Cultivating Personal Power and Freedom Everyday









Ask yourself this: Am I doing what I am doing because it serves my most important goals, values, and relationships, or am I doing it as an alternative to being with discomfort?

Being with is the Read More

Do You Understand the Happiness/Comfort Trade-Off?

We all want to be happy and we all want to be comfortable. Wanting both of these is normal, but it is also fraught with challenge and pitfall. One of the most important and challenging Read More

A Simple Process to Keep Discomfort From Running Your Life

“Yeah, whatever dad.”

As a wellbeing coach, I teach people how to be more calm and balanced in life. And yet, when my teenage son is dismissive, I feel an uncomfortable sensation of anger in my Read More

Practicing a Life That Actually Works: Accepting That We Are Animals with Human Goals

I was talking to a young woman whose hobby is skydiving. She jumps out of airplanes. I asked her if she still feels fear before she jumps. “Of course,” she replied. The reason she was Read More

Working with Challenge or Change? Check Your Relationship to Discomfort.

This past week was challenging for me. I dropped my son off at college for his freshman year. The school is close enough that it is worth visiting for a weekend, but far enough away Read More

Looking for Balance and Freedom? Practice Being A Work in Progress

You are not done. Your brain is going to be shaping itself right up until the moment you die. Humans are biologically equipped to grow until death. The challenge is that we grow in the Read More

Wisdom in Life and Work: The Incredible Power of Being With

Each of us is bombarded with impulses – thoughts and sensations – from the conditioned brain. These impulses are the result of activity in networks among neurons. Many of these networks were formed when we Read More

Seeking Well-Being and Growth? Pay Attention to Stories and Strategies

The other day a lawyer told me that she is so used to looking for potential threats at work that she can only see what’s wrong at home. Her spouse is getting worn down by Read More

Cultivating Your Own Well-being Is An Act of Service

Cultivating your own well-being is an act of service. Taking a breath, bringing awareness to the present moment, and accessing positive internal resources allows you choose your next action from a connected and compassionate perspective. Read More

Practicing Awe is Good For You and For Your Relationships

Watching a sunset at the beach. Seeing an elite level athletic performance. Standing on a mountaintop. Listening to a world-class symphony. Seeing new life enter the world. These are likely to be awe-inspiring events. And Read More

Being Fully Human is Good for Business

Work is love made visible. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Recently I was working with a CEO who was constantly encouraging his employees to be “professional.” Many in his company bristled at the word because they saw it Read More

Awareness Is The First Step Toward Growth

When was the last time you thought about walking? You take thousands of steps each day and yet you give it little thought. This is because it is controlled by a function in the brain Read More

Being Present in Life and Work: You Do Not Need to Scratch Every Itch

You are sitting there and you notice an itch. Reflexively, you reach up and scratch it without giving it any thought. It all happens so quickly that it doesn’t really occur to you that you Read More