How Did an Angry, Anxious Cynic Come to Teach Awareness, Acceptance, and Compassion?
He was a victim. He was an anxious, angry, scared, cynical victim. Not all the time. Sometimes he was a fun, welcoming, open, kind guy. I say he was a victim because he thought that Read More
Privilege, Suffering, Pleasure, Purpose
It has taken me over fifty years to learn how to savor a warm cup of earl grey tea on a cloudy Sunday afternoon.
I am also aware that this is a luxury that many in Read More
Personal Growth: Why We Might Choose a More Graceful Approach to Change
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~ Carl Rogers
I was recently talking to a friend who is facing a major health challenge. Her situation Read More
The Mindful Path to Confidence
“Don’t worry, everything will work out.” “You are going to do great.”
We hear statements like these all the time. They are usually intended to be comforting or encouraging. But, how can people know how Read More
Why We Might Choose To Be Grateful When Anxiety Shows Up
Looking back, I can see that I struggled early on, but I didn’t have a name for what I was experiencing. In my senior year of high school I was a straight “A” student, captain Read More
Every Emotion Points to a Value: How to Use Them to Live More Peacefully and Purposefully
A few hours before I get on a plane to travel for work, I usually experience some mild anxiety. It is not about the air travel – I love to fly. In fact, I love Read More
The “SAD” Trend of Modern Culture – and How to Be Enough Within it
I was recently talking to a man who is well-regarded in his career, has a wonderful family, and lives in a very nice neighborhood. He was telling me how challenging he and his wife are Read More
Making Our Schools Well-being Centered
I will admit my bias right off the bat – I believe that the ultimate bottom-line of education is the well-being of individuals and communities. I cannot get excited by the idea that the deepest Read More
Why Practice Mindfulness? — The Connection Between Awareness and Choice
Some days go much better than expected. Some days (or weeks, or…) feel like a struggle. Some days start full of promise and end with nothing to show for all of the positive intention and Read More
Starting the Day Intentionally and Powerfully: Focus, Sweat, Shiver, Sit
At the age of 51, I have settled upon a beginning of my day that really works for me. I do it whether I am traveling or I am at home, whether I am on Read More
The Discipline of Compassion
This photo was taken when my youngest son, Eli, was two years old. He is now 17 and 6′ 3″ tall. It is so easy to forget that we are all just children who have Read More
Cold and Beautiful: We Can Practice Living All of Life
The picture above is of fresh snow in the mountain town where I am working in Japan. It is cold and beautiful. Such a metaphor for how life feels sometimes.
Consider how extraordinary it is that Read More
What is Unconditional Wellbeing and Why Does it Matter?
Our health, happiness, and performance depend to some degree on our genetics and our environment. In other words, some things such as the weather, the markets, other people’s behavior, and even the feelings and thoughts Read More
A Wish for the New Year
Dear Friends,
Here is my wish for the New Year:
That we give ourselves permission to stop pretending that we are perfect and shiny all the time (or that we will be someday if we just try Read More
The Miracle of Daily Practice: Consciously Shaping Your Brain for Wellbeing
I used to feel so self-conscious about what others thought of me, that speaking in front of a large group was unthinkable.
I used to feel so insecure in social situations, that alcohol felt like the Read More
You Make A Difference. Not Making a Difference Isn’t an Option
It is impossible to live a separate life of no impact. We are connected in the most complex and tangible ways.
Consider a single carrot on your plate. How many people were involved in the entire Read More
Why it is Worth Practicing Awe Everyday
The photo above was taken at sunset from our backyard.
It is a great reminder that I don’t have the foggiest idea of how insanely fortunate I am to be alive.
It is so easy to get Read More
How Do We Find Freedom from Stress and Anxiety in a Demanding and Distracting World?
Constant access to phone, email, texts, tweets, and a 24 hour news cycle keep us connected and up to date. And…they keep our nervous systems vigilant. We are capable of putting ourselves on alert first Read More
What I Have Learned About the Value of a Good Ol’ Fashioned Breakdown
When I was twenty-seven years old, I hit a wall. Literally. I punched a wall. I woke up in the hospital with my hand in a cast and pins sticking out in several directions. I Read More
This Simple Idea Can Change Your Life.
Everything you do is practice.
It’s that simple.
When you argue, you get better at arguing. When you listen, you get better at listening. When you complain, you get better at complaining. When you are kind, Read More
Learn How to Love Your Anxiety (or at least keep it from running your life)
When I was in my twenties, anxiety had me running around frantically trying to get approval and prove that I was enough. Anxiety had me curled up in a ball on my living room carpet Read More
What I Discovered About Fear of Failure and Self-Compassion By Giving a TEDx Talk
I speak in front of groups of people all the time. And yet, a week before I was scheduled to give a talk at TEDxPasadenaWomen, I had my phone in my hand ready to dial Read More
One Simple Practice for Cultivating Personal Power and Freedom Everyday
Ask yourself this: Am I doing what I am doing because it serves my most important goals, values, and relationships, or am I doing it as an alternative to being with discomfort?
Being with is the Read More
Do You Understand the Happiness/Comfort Trade-Off?
We all want to be happy and we all want to be comfortable. Wanting both of these is normal, but it is also fraught with challenge and pitfall. One of the most important and challenging Read More
A Simple Process to Keep Discomfort From Running Your Life
“Yeah, whatever dad.”
As a wellbeing coach, I teach people how to be more calm and balanced in life. And yet, when my teenage son is dismissive, I feel an uncomfortable sensation of anger in my Read More